I’m sick and wanting to puke at work. I just want to lay in bed.
All of these bad feelings are causing endless amounts of negative thoughts leading me to be extremely hard on myself today and puting myself down.
I’m a fucking crazy person when I drink.
I need to change my crowd.
All my friends want to do is party and drink.. and I can’t do that anymore.
I just want to get away from the drinking.
And I can’t even maintain a diet for two weeks. I just keep cheating cause I love food. But I feel terrible about my weight and I’m starting to just not want to eat. I just wish my “real” friends would be there for me again. I want to see them and I feel like I’m trying so hard to see them and they don’t even care to see me.
Maybe it’s my fault. Maybe I’m not that great of a friend. I’m selfish and self centered and there’s nothing I can do about it. I try…
I think it’s because I get no attention from my family unless it’s just hate, so I crave the attention from my friends. Hate hate hate hate hate. I need to get my fucking car already and get the hell out of there.
So many emotions right now.
I just want my good friends. I need them right now. So badly.
Sorry if I sound like I’m complaining but I feel like I’m trying so hard.
I need positive energies….